Borderline personality disorder aka Videos

If you are suffering or have suffered from mental health listen to this song it will help you.

what the fuck did i just watch

Hi there. I'd just like to say that PMMM is also my number one favorite anime/TV show in existence and this movie is my favorite film of all time. Although I do not agree with a lot of your opinions and nothing I can say hasn't already been said in your discussion with Bigbossbalrog that I can really add to, I appreciate what you had to say about the film as well as what your circumstances before, during and after watching it were. I also found your description and presentation of all of your thoughts/opinions/ideas to be a great indication of where you're coming from. Considering that you made this quite a long time ago shortly after having seen the film the night before (and prior to the movie, as you explain in the comments below my own, having waited 90 minutes for it to start with fans trading signboards and only attending the event mostly for the merchandise), your thoughts at the time were respectable. I also understand you're not too big on pandering/shipping even if you knows about the fandom and acknowledges at least MadoHomu...you also feel that KyouSaya was forced. But after awhile I feel like you start to repeat yourself a bit and the rest is history. Yet you did mention your problems with the film right out of the gate instead of doing an analysis/review/summary first, which was interesting even if I didn't agree with you the whole way through. Given my bias toward the film and attachment to its characters and themes, I may not be the best person to tell you exactly how you should watch/enjoy/think about this film. I would be lying if I didn't say that I actually enjoyed it more than the series because I genuinely did. However, you watched this movie with a state of mind that I feel does not do it justice. It's understandable that its genuinely unavoidable at the time, but this is a film that I feel you cannot watch with an unclear head and no preconceptions/expectations about how things are going to play out or what character motivations will be at work here. That is just my opinion though. I also understand that you are misinformed on magical girl genre, so you may have missed a lot of callbacks and themes/homages from various 'magical girl' shows that PMMM heavily referenced which were just as polarizing/deconstructive/influential in their day. You can also argue that this is fan pandering as well, however that is like when some people call a direct or explicit literary allusion or homage a 'ripoff'. Something many 'critics and detractors' of Madoka Magica are ultimately guilty of. Now if you don't mind, for a little bit of where I'm coming from. I have been a fan of this series since Summer 2012. I gotta say, when I first watched it, I fell in love with it. I love everything about it. The animation, the art (Gekidan Inu Curry and Studio Shaft are so talented, it actually makes me cry), the writing (Gen Urobuchi is so dark but so thoughtful and empowering), the characters (my favorites are Homura and Sayaka because I relate to them AND they're the most human/real within the story), the story (its so much fun and its so engaging, I genuinely sympathize with everything that's happening onscreen) and well, everything else. The three movies are even more fantastic (the first two feel less like a recap and more like watching the series on the big screen, the third will cause you to think and feel about so much. It is filled with riveting compassion and intensity, with the visuals and musical score being audiovisual manna for the senses). Also, I love the various PSP games and manga spinoffs too (highly recommend Puella Magi Kazumi Magica: The Innocent Malice and The Different Story, if you haven't read them yet). PMMM is my number one favorite anime. But I would also call it my favorite work of fiction of all time. This is a series that is basically an integral part of my life. The writing and its simple but realistic and compelling characters have taught me so much, made me feel and think about so many different ideals and concepts and most importantly, believe and see what it is about anime that makes it such a brilliant art medium and how much potential it truly has in and outside of Japan. I really love it that much. I currently own the first two films and Rebellion and all of the various manga series which have been published in the States at this time. Puella Magi Madoka Magica is a series that I would like to show to as many of my friends and loved ones who would be willing to watch it with me as not just an anime/story I love, but also a piece of literature and artwork I adore so much. I want them to have the chance to share in the experiences I've had in watching this series. The show has even become my inspiration for writing my own works like this, and it has exposed me to various media such as classic science fiction movies, classical literature and plays, symbolism, themes and philosophical studies which honestly, before I watched this show and saw/read about Inu Curry's witch artwork, I never would have been interested in before. Personally, I think it says something when a TV show like this manages to adapt, borrow, subvert, parody and aspire an interest and a passion for other works of fiction/mediums of art and literature its viewers would never have been exposed to or been willing to experience beforehand. That is what this series did to me as a person. I cannot praise it enough for that. To be able to watch the works Stanley Kubrick, David Lynch, Ingmar Bergman and other eccentric Hollywood directors who contributed so greatly to the industry is now a goal within my life. Taking the time to read Faust and watching older anime is now a priority of mine. I have obtained the desire and ambition to write, read, watch, study, analyze and participate in the production and development of various television series and films. All of this was thanks to Madoka Magica. I will admit that even as a lifelong fan of PMMM, I overhype it a bit. In fact, I'm sure it has some technical and objective flaws in storytelling, but what great story doesn't? I mean the TV version was apparently awful but I didn't watch it so I can't really judge since the Bluray was nothing like that when I watched it on Hulu. But whether its because I can't see those flaws myself or just don't want to is irrelevant. For me PMMM can do no wrong. But I could even say the same about other anime, movies, books and stories in general I've seen and loved, or rather have yet to see myself. Perhaps someday, maybe there will be something I watch or read, whether it already exists or has yet to come into existence, which will surpass Madoka in all of these elements. When that time comes, I will welcome that said media with open arms and an open mind if it ultimately captivates my heart even more than Madoka has done. The only anime series that have ever had a lasting impact on me almost or just as much as Madoka (not necessarily in any specific order but definitely all are titles from my top 10-15) are Hetalia (my first anime and exposure to 'edutainment storytelling' even if it is not without its extreme flaws), Kannazuki no Miko, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Serial Experiments Lain, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, Gunbuster/Diebuster, Princess Tutu and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann/Kill la Kill. And no matter what I feel for those series, Madoka reigns supreme. For now, she is eternal. I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope the same could be said for others who watch this magnificent achievement of human creation, or at least how I've seen it and felt about it since I first laid eyes upon the Prolog im Himmel titlecard when the curtains to episode 1 rose back in June 2012. And I guess the simplest way to tie this all back to Rebellion and what my thoughts are about it is that...it basically reinforced and expanded/contracted on everything I said above and that's why I absolutely love it. A movie that can have that kind of power, IMO, is truly a masterpiece. And yes, I also treat End of Evangelion in a similar manner, LOL. Thank you for your time and I hope I didn't overwhelm you with all of that info/my thoughts. XD

I see the movie almost as a deconstruction of fan's wishes, almost as though this was the result of fan's making a wish with Kyubey- Charlotte? We have her! The five girls together? We have that! Kyubey getting punished? We have it! Cuteness? We have it in spades! ...but not really. The first half seems like fan pandering because it is- it all seems to exist just so the movie can destroy it later on to enforce to the fans that this can not happen in reality.

I was devastated when Charlotte appeared. All the main characters made their point to become main characters, while Charlotte becomes a main character by just appearing

Someone has probably already said it, however: Utena, Sailor Moon, Princess Tutu; magical girl shows are not naive and moe. They are fairly twisted and tragic. Tutu and Moon do a lot of what Madoka tries to do better (than even the original Madoka).

Hi Robert, out of interest, how did it go with the second bpd that told you straight up of her disorder? same thing happened to me recently, found a guy with bpd that i wanted to "study" so as to find out why my relationship with a bpd ex had been so bad ( i was still learning), problem was, i nearly fell for this new guy too, bc i was getting idealised to the point that i started daydreaming of this new "crush. the the devaluing and silent tratment started. i'm glad he gave me explanations of the disorder and gave me a momentary "spark" to distract me from the constant thoughts of my ex, made me realise that i can be interested in new guys again. but knowing he's a bpd and recognising the danger signs i ;ve now put on the breaks and stepping on the reverse as strongly as i can. they really are addictive in the seduction phase!! i learnt i got the fixer/rescuer co-dependent traits too.. knowledge is* power! :)

I don't think I'm borderline, but I can definitely relate to walking into a relationship "knowing" that it's not going to work. I'll always look for something that I know will eventually tear us apart. I think it's more fear of abandonment issues with me...

I thank you for you videos, they have helped me greatly..... with conformation and encouragement ! Thank you. I have a quick question for you. Have you found with yourself or someone claiming that being with there BPD partner has has actually led the non BP partner to destructive behaviors as a away of escapes and even control for themselves. I was told these are actually called false positives. Not sure if you may have talked about this yet.

Thanks for your insightful videos Mr. Robert. I appreciate your optimistic and bubbly personality. If you ever come to Las Vegas, consider yourself to have a friend that'll happily buy you a drink while discussing the BPD warfare.

My wife has BPD and I have Aspergers. I feel that we had at one point complemented eachothers flaws incredibly well. However her cheating, selfish and flip flop behavior has practically driven me to tears after 7...long...miserable...pathetic years. I at one point came close to suicide a few times to stop the mental pain she would cause multiple times in a day. To make it worse she decieved others into believing her account and bad behaviors i.e. everything being my fault such as the cheating. I could go on but my advice, a person that refuses to treat their BPD is not worth having in your life. I'm almost 30 and now must rebuild my entire life once again. Thanks BPD... You're one screwed up mental mishap that makes me glad I'm on the spectrum instead. 

Im really grateful for your videos. I made the mistake of marrying her too soon and had her move in. Her rage progressively got more and more erratic and violent. I kept thinking I will try harder because she made me always feel it was me that caused her anger. I started doing research and I found your videos. I filed a restraining order this week and got her out! Its great because by law there is a no contact rule. I realize Im a co-dependent and these type of woman are attracted to my personality. You have gave me confidence understanding and knowing Im not alone with this. Thank you again you have helped me understand and getting through a difficult process.