Pathological idealization Videos

When his kids became adults and had less contact with him, there was less continuous excitement/drama (which I looked forward to, right?) That's when the narc started complaining he was.bored. He gradually started blaming me for that --- expecting me to entertain him. He would then "joke" with me saying, "What would I do without you sweetheart? .....except have a WHOLE lotta FUN! Then laugh his ass off at his own joke while I stood there feeling hurt.

+Randy Andretti okay thankyou

+joan “4wheela” baczek - The Discard is not anything you will question or miss. Smashing stuff is them intimidating you, having a temper tantrum and losing control. Also trying to provoke you to act out so they can say you are crazy or just as bad as they are. When you are being discarded, there is no question...You or him will leave....

Hun - Im so sorry. ; (

Dr. Vaknin thank you for your transparency and honesty. What an amazing gift you've given to us to have in intimate view into the mind of one who suffers from NPD. It may well be that this thorn was assigned to you to heal many people because of your unique blend of psychopothy, intelligence and curiousity. Thank you for helping to spare us from continujng to suffer a most dreadful existence. Bless you.

I'm exactly like this about 80% of the time, but a former best friend of mine is like this 110% of the time, especially when it comes to your later descriptions!

I'd like to add that I found this to be one of your more insightful videos, thank you for sharing.

Thank goodness don't have to have anything to do with the person ever again.

thank you. eloquent and intelligent

Thank you Sam x

Good video!

+Delusion Dispeller oh yeah, I know, I have been working on it for years. I am attracted to abusive people because that is what I grew up with. Thanks for commenting!  

This means you need to seek therapy to find out why you enjoy being with abusive people. Ask about dependency, codependency and work on your own self-worth and self-esteem.

+Angel DemocracyLesson#1 Thank you for sharing! I will be sure to check that book out. It sounds intriguing and helpful; the two steps you mentioned can be very powerful for survivors of abuse. We really are "addicted" to the narcissist through both biochemical bonding and trauma bonding. I have a short e-book guide written about why we are so addicted to the narcissist here: //www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Love-Sex-Narcissist-ebook/dp/B01CH9KP7E/

+Cathie Romero Thank you Cathie, I am so happy to hear my videos helped <3 :)

+Pepper Unkempt Thank you Pepper, and thank you for sharing your story! When we do not get the unconditional positive regard and love we need to model that healthy love for future relationships, we can more easily become hooked and fixated by someone who gives us the fantasy of that love rather than the reality, because we have never experienced what that reality looks like. I appreciate your feedback. ❤️ Blessings to you!

Thank you very much :) I appreciate your support!

Thank you. I am so happy they were helpful to you! <3

+Self-Care Haven Thank you so much Shahida :) <3 I will read that article which sounds fascinating! Thanks for the book recommendation too! Yes, I need to read through my list of the atrocious things he did & said to remind myself of how awful he really is! Peace & love to you <3

+THEOZZYFUL ~ Thank you very much for sharing your story & for your advice & encouragement! :) <3 It's terrible that you've been through all of that abuse & suffering! It's great that you're now an expert on NPD so will never fall victim to another of these monsters! My last four boyfriends were all narcs but now I finally know all the red flags of NPD (& have them listed in my diary for easy reference) so I'm determined to never get sucked into another abusive relationship! Wishing you every happiness! :) <3

+Aurla R2-D2 Hey Aurla, it can be difficult to separate lovebombing from our deep desire to believe that our narcissistic partner has a conscience/has an ability to empathize. Remember that someone who was disloyal to you, went into unprovoked rages, and used extreme measures to gaslight you/deceive you/provoke you and manipulate you into staying is not likely to be someone who has the ability to empathize - this may even be deeply embedded in differences in their brain structures as well (check out The Neurobiology of Evil here: //bigthink.com/going-mental/the-neurobiology-of-evil). I believe writing down abusive incidents and having them as reference helps - a great book with writing exercises is Stop Spinning, Start Breathing by Zari Ballard. I agree with @theozzyful in that watching videos and reading articles can help with the early stages of recovery. As we find out more about their pathology, we begin to ground ourselves in the reality of the abuse and the fact that these abusers are unlikely to change. Hope this helps! Blessings to you <3.

+Aurla R2-D2 Just keep watching videos like this and visit blogs about the subject.The more you listen to others experience the more you will come to terms with the fake love.It was never about you and you never desrved to be treated like that.I hope you feel better soon, these a**holes are not worth the grief.I was recently lovebombed by a man who I new for quite while, not very close but he seemed always to be a very decent guy.He helped me out with some jobs in my house and treated me with utmost respect.The a few months ago he started coming on to me in such a strong way that it made me a bit suspicious, but I really liked him and decided to give it a go.Just three days into the relationship he declared his love to me, another thing I found quite strange.I even asked him how could he possibly know that in three day and he said he was infatuated with me for thew last 10 years.I was somewhat flattered but it just felt odd.Well to cut the story short, the devaluing started in less than a month and I picked up on it almost immediatly and went looking through all the videos about this subject and yes It was all the classical signs.My feelings for him were over so fast it was like a switch was flipped.I broke up with him, making sure to leave him more confused than he ever made me.Now he is blasting my phone with the most pathetic style of love and hate messages and I read them and laugh and am proud of myself that I have finally made it so far that I was able to see who he was so quickly.So lucky for me, there was no damage done and I walked away with my selfesteem intact, and infact stronger than before.This was not my first encouter.I had been married to one of these for 18 years then when I finally left him fell straight into the clutches of another one for another 7 years.It left me completely destroyed by the time I broke free and since then I am educating the hell out of myself to neverlet it happen again.I was single for 8 years before this recent one came into my life.In those 8 years alone I studied all this and it saved me from having my life destroyed yet again.Hope this helps, things really will get better.Just give it time and don't beat yourself up about it.I wish you all the love and respect you deserve and happiness. <3