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I think it's from a British TV series called tales of the unexpected

+BemusedExpression None? Maybe he was talking about an ex, or his wife but before they were married.

+Asdfghjkl;' 123456789 I thought the same thing.

That's a great idea! I might just do that as well.

+Susie Cymbaline yeah but i heard his third leg is a prosthetic

+someone I can see it now...... he calls bullshit on every one of the facts and by the end of the show Alan wants to buy a gun for the zombie apocalypse and Stephen's an expert on American football.

"You can get right on up there".

+littleripper312 I don't. People in the audience need to keep their mouth shut. It's unbelievably rude.

+Rachel A Pink. Thought to create a feeling of passivity. Then goes on to call it drunk tank pink.

+purpleanexI agree, I was simply pointing out that they made a mistake. Yes the fictional show about the bionic man was definitely flawed in a lot of ways.

+dataloreforever Without his spine being replaced he'd still be incapable of most of his feats.

+C4GeneralGaming we had it in South africa for years and years and then one year it just never came back

+Cathy Earnshaw How is being fat and proud a good thing? It's this type of attitude that places unnecessary strain on the NHS and often leads to an earlier-than-necessary death, but not before many of them go through life feeling miserable. The attitude should be discontent, not content.

+Cathy Earnshaw For alot of folks, her persistent use of certain themes is merely justification for disliking her... most people who bring it up would dislike her anyway (her manner & demeanor aren't gonna appeal to everyone) but they'll feel bringing up her 'one-dimensionality' gives some kinda objective weight to their opinion.You won't find many folks whose opinion on Jo actually hinges on her volume of 'fat/husband' gags...

+Gentlemanly Squid Around here it comes up on several occasions...it is somehow accepted that they stand up however, but I know many females that really prefer them to sit down. (one does really have noo imagination how far the wee spreads!)But the topic more discussed here seems to be that more men kind of ignore the handwashing part after they've been on, especially, public toilets....

+maffa Iliti Crnogorska varijanta: "Ne razumiješ ti to, to su naturisti, treba ih dočekati!"

+Ralf coloniaAww, he knows an umlaut, how cute.

scheisse für gehirne??  learn german  LOL 

+Ralf colonia You're a stereotypical idiot mit scheisse fur gehirne.

+Shang SungWell she studied german at college and she has german family members through marriage. think she lived there for a while too.

Yeah I was unnecessarily harsh about Jo Brand, really just put off by her lack of enthusiasm compared to other guests.

+Shang SungWell Well she knows german, it's really a basic word.

+Shang SungWell She has a grammar school/University background (Brunel) and was a psychiatric nurse for 10 years. Why would you think her incapable of knowing something?

+Donal Callum Does she ask for the answers in advance ? She just doesn't strike me as someone who would know the meaning of Schadenfreude.

+karry299 only a 3% of Romanians are gypsies. You might as well say that Americans are ethnically Asian, since 4% of Americans are.

Get your facts right.+karry299

+marrydruli They are still gypsies, though.

+hein de paauw - Marriage is essentially a legal contract.

+hein de paauw She got what she wanted which was more than likely security, and he got what he wanted which was more than likely a gorgeous young woman. Win win.

+karry299 Whoa. Whoa. That got agist and homophobic real fast!

+Thrashlock Adequate ? Yes. Great ? Ehh...not so much. Also, she is quite old as well. And there may be a time, when Britain runs out of old fat homo show hosts.

+Codie Trayford I'm sad and hyped at the same time. Sandy is a great replacement!

+Codie Trayford Oh no! That's a shame! I do love Sandi, though, and I'll certainly keep watching. I'm sure Stephen will do something magnificent elsewhere. The halfway mark also makes sense as a changing point.(Also, I'm sure Stephen will reappear as a guest!)

+Codie Trayford The forthcoming series, starting Friday 16 October 2015 at 10pm UK time on BBC Two, will be Stephen's last as chairman. Sandi will take over from Series N onwards.

+Benjamin Rome Clarke Hate to tell you but Stephen has left the show and Sandi Toksvig is taking over. This was announced today.

Huh - thanks for the detailed response.  Today I Learned.  As they say :)

+Graham Butler - There really aren't many words specific to scam e-mails; Bayesian filters aren't particularly good at dealing with them. Spam is a different matter, since they'll nearly always contain words like "viagra", "herbal", "discount", etc., that wouldn't appear in a normal business e-mail. Also, Bayesian filters attribute a lower score to unknown (i.e., misspelled) words than to known words not associated with spam. So misspelling the key words (and adding a lot of unrelated words at the end) is a common technique to get spam past filters.On scam e-mails, however, the idea isn't just to get past filters (which they can do easily, since they generally don't contain any product names or typical commercial keywords), but mainly to filter out people who wouldn't fall for the scam, and make sure that the replies are from "good candidates".If the purpose of misspelling words was to get past Bayesian filters, they would never spell "Nigeria" correctly. ;-) IIRC, this was actually the subject of a 2012 (or possibly 2011) academic paper by some Microsoft researchers.

+Graham Butler that's quite interesting

+GeoJoe2000 I really don't know what to do or what to say!

+littlemissmello Sandi Toksvig will take over.

+Anthony Hobson WHAT!!!??? STEPHEN IS LEAVING!!!!????

+krileayn Because those colours aren't monopolised by UKIP. Either that or it's ironic :)

+Joseph Huiras richard cole hes a genius

Maybe because that name is already reserved for your mom. XD

You are most welcome!

+yautja89So I can say to someone that there is no American flag on the moon and in a way I'll be right. Interesting. Then again I suppose the flag was made in America so it is still an American flag.Whatever country sends a spacecratf there next needs to bring a more permanent marker with them next time. It just won't do leaving grey flags everywhere. Maybe carving the flag into the moon would work, there is after all no wind...Anyway thanks for answering mate.

Basically yes. As Stephen says, the extreme hot and cold fluctuations paired with the unfiltered uv radiation means that all flags left on the moon have turned a dingy grey. Even the stars and stripes im afraid.

He can't hear you.

+Bethany Hunt We are also able to think (and demonstrate and prove) that whilst it might be unpleasant, experimenting on animals helps people not die, or have a better life. That's a pretty good excuse for cruelty and exploitation. Oh, testing cosmetics and such can fuck off, but if a million cats have to be blood-eagled to cure cancer (this is a poor example and you need not elaborate) then I'm fine with it. Trying to preserve our species by using ones lower in the food chain is exactly what many animals do.

+Ben Tarr "Humans are no more special than any other animal". By this logic, the owning of pets is a heinous crime tantamount to slavery. The owning of other humans is despicable, but if we have no greater worth than animals, then owning animals for our own amusement and company is an equally despicable crime. It's basically the slavery of animals. Who knew all those lonely old cat ladies were secretly slavers?Also, I'm sorry, but if there's a burning building and there's an infant and a dog in there, and I can only rescue one, I'm going for the kid, not the dog. And I'm sure you would too. I would also be more distraught at a friend or family member's death than my dog's death.I'm not saying I support animal cruelty, far from it. But I think in extreme situations like those listed above, everyone would favor another human's life above an animal's. No one's going to stand in the doorway of the burning building unable to decide if they want to save the baby or the parakeet.

+Bethany Hunt "moral sense" is a human invention. Civilisation has only existed for 2% of human history, the other 98% of the time we exploited animals in every way we could, for food, tools or even companionship. The whole reason we evolved larger brains is because it allowed us to gain an advantage over, and exploit, other creatures.I'm not trying to say we should abuse all of the creatures around us today, far from it. But you should not condemn people in the past that did. It was their nature, and we are all just animals after all.

+Ben Shepherd Humans are not more 'special' in the sense that we're not more valuable, or more important, but we do have a faculty other species don't (as far as we know): moral sense. Therefore we have no excuse for cruelty and exploitation, unlike other species. It's very odd how those who claim human superiority accept humans behaving no better, or worse, than other species.

+Evi1M4chine you're one of those. Why not start with you?

They should do the research on humans. There’s way too many of those, and all they do is fuck up the planet.

+Ollie Eyre Justification for what?I didn't support animal experimentation in any way, I just criticised the original commenter's argument.Besides, there are many way of experimenting (Or 'exploiting') animals that doesn't harm them in any way, and may in fact help them, are those bad too?

+Ben Shepherd you're really fucking stupid if you use that for justification

"No one has the right to abuse or exploit any animal, in any way."But animals abuse and exploit each other all the time, most animals live by it."Humans are no more special than any other animal."See my first point

+EkorrenHJ cool thnx

+That One Finger Licker If you want to learn more about what he means with the "teleportation", you should Google "Quantum Entanglement".

+John Thompson you like the word condescention. you use it way too often.

just because you are british doesn't mean you have to talk/type in such a pretentious way.....it doesn't make you clever, it just makes you feel clever. You actually sound like a twat.    you are welcome twat.

+lawrence morgalQuite simple, mate. I'm British as well.Thought that was clear given my condescension. Although I do take care of my teeth. See you at the club. Cheers.

+John Thompson thankyou for your educating, informative and incisive comments about conan and his long running chat show, 'the conan show'.As an Englishman I would hate to perpetuate the stereotypes you mentioned, so why does conan act like a stereotypical stupid ,unfunny, loudmouth American cunt...and why do you write in such a patronising, condescending manner when you say you hate that about the British. yours sincerely Sir Lawrence Morgal , right honorable member of bad teeth society treasurer of the Mary Poppins fanclub and heir to the estates of both fish and chips.

+John Thompson thankyou for your educating, informative and incisive comments about conan and his long running chat show, 'the conan show'.As an Englishman I would hate to perpetuate the stereotypes you mentioned, so why does conan act like a stereotypical stupid ,unfunny, loudmouth American cunt...and why do you write in such a patronising, condescending manner when you say you hate that about the British. yours sincerely Sir Lawrence Morgal , right honorable member of bad teeth society treasurer of the Mary Poppins fanclub and heir to the estates of both fish and chips.

+kapullas It can be a bit more dull then say, a man in womens clothing.

+kapullas i relate. I find british humour easier to understand. I am living in america. Maybe the fake laugh tracks are ruining the already unfunny content.

+Dr Quantum Brian Cox is famous in his own right. he's awesome.

+Jon Ingle stupid internet warrior 

Oops sorry, just realised you're a troll

What do you mean if there even was one, there clearly are knee-slappers out there, are you retarded? trying to outcast minorities, what a lowlife.

+Swe3ets A real knee-slapper if ever there was one

+Jon Ingle not as broke as your bank account huehuehue

+Swe3ets Are you broken?

+aerialkate you are a fucking faggetty as bitch get rekt mo8t

+Jon Ingle No - you began with the dismissive insults when you should have instead addressed the arguments I made.  What is ironic to me is how you write that I've been condescending to you, after what you wrote in your reply to my first post.  You lack self awareness.  You can interpret the following words as a capitulation if it suits - but I really am tired of this discussion now and I'm off. 

Actually, you've been condescending and childish.

+Jon Ingle  You need to be able to take a bit of criticism without throwing your toys around the attic:   "get your head out of your arse" / "arrant stupidity".  The tone of my first two posts was, in contrast to yours, patient and reasonable.  You're an hysteric.   It's amusing to me that you write of others' stupidity yet  you didn't counter a single argument I made my first post - instead choosing to instruct me that everything was "self evident".  You're arrogant and you really need to check that tendency. 

The irony goes on...

+Jon Ingle   Edit:  "pompous and pretentious". 

+aerialkate Pompous?? Haha, the irony that marinades your latest comment is priceless

+aerialkate Jesus Fuck lads, it's just a chat show host, they can ALL be cunts, and frequently are.

I said you were.   I believe you're being disingenuous about him.  I also found your pompous, impertinent response to my polite criticsm of your original post to be objectionable:  "arrant stupidity".  You need to moderate your language ( "utterly delusional" - as opposed to what, one wonders - "fairly delusional"?  You're either delusional or you're not)   It's amusing to me that you write of my "little diatribe".  Don't do the crime if you can't... +Jon Ingle

Who said I was a Ross fan? The guy's a prat. Where does that leave your little diatribe?

+Jon Ingle I once saw a guest on Ross' show who didn't actually get to complete a single sentence.  You're a Jonathan Ross fan.  I'm not surprised.  Now it really is time for me to go.  There can be no "but" in mitigation for Ross' habitual  sub 'Loaded' schtick.  I'm sure he does a nice line in jokes about the disabled and other easy targets if you're into that thing,  but I'm afraid I can't relate to anyone who can relate to that raving cunt. 

+aerialkate Granted, Ross has a massive ego but he doesn't act in the way O'Brien does. To suggest that O'Brien doesn't have a huge ego or that anything about his presenting style is 'nuanced' is utterly delusional.

+Jon Ingle It's far from straightforward and the situation is more nuanced than you suggest.  It's an act from a man who has self awareness;  pretending he has none. He's also a bit nervous.  It's not a case of a monstrous ego running amok ( like Jonathan Ross.)  However it's clear we're not going to agree, so I'll leave it at that.

+aerialkate He was being ignorant, whether intentionally or not, so he was being an ignoramus. Pretty straightforward really.

+Jon IngleActing in a (comically) insensitive manner in a misguided attempt to entertain the studio audience isn't the same as being an "ignoramus" though.  Conan O' Brien didn't really think he could be teleported to and from work in the near future.  Choose your words carefully  Consult a dictionary.  You know - get your head out of your arse. 

+aerialkate You do know that going to a good university and being ignorant aren’t mutually exclusive; Bill O’Reilly went to some pretty decent unis and he’s a buffoon. Get your head out of your arse, for god’s sake.This presenter’s ignorance comes from asking a question and not bothering to listen to the answer, instead just sitting there squawking like a fucking macaque.

+aerialkate I think people do forget that presenters are effectively actors, they play a certain role, however it doesn't make his "role" any less annoying though, but as you say, not as annoying as Jimmy Fallon.Best I've seen in America was Craig Ferguson, who isn't American. Says something maybe, although maybe just my preference. There's a lot the American accent doesn't lend itself to. Perhaps talk shows are one.

+Jon IngleOh I think labelling someone who went to Harvard an "ignoramus" is "arrant stupidity".  I wrote that Conan is playing a role here;  he often plays up to the dumb yank stereotype, especially when he talks to foreign guests. It's clear to me that he's playing for laughs.  It doesn't always come off, but I see the intention behind it.  If you don't then frankly you're to be pitied.  Regards.

+aerialkate I think what I said is fairly self-evident and to suggest anything other is arrant stupidity

+Jon Ingle - Unfair. Conan's Harvard educated - something he makes light of brilliantly in the speech he made at this alma mater. You should watch it on 'youtube' - it's wonderful stuff. But he suffers from a kind of nervous tension that some of the more neurotic chat show hosts share. Jimmy Fallon being the worst. They don't like low key conversations and get terrified if there isn't a laugh count per five seconds. They think the show is falling flat. Fallon over compensates by going into a prolonged fake laugh at his guests' lame jokes. Conan intervenes too much when he should just listen. But he's far from an "ignoramous" and he's not really "obnoxious" either. He's just acting that way for comic effect ( it doesn't always work ). I've been to America many times and most of the people I met were extremely polite and don't do the stereotypical American thing.

+Jon Ingle Very true. Most American hosts seem to have this horrible knack of trying to over-act, shout and try too hard to be zany.Conan is incredibly annoying, and he's one of the better ones