Dear Andrea, this is a very touching video and I can tell that it means a
lot to you and I can assure you that I means a lot to all of us because
this is a big issue and it's important to talk about it. As you know, I
have no idea of when I will be able to make a response video (my husband's
mother is getting sicker) but I will do it as soon as will get the chance
to. Things changed for me too. My husband has become a friend and he is not
much of a husband any more. Thank you for doing this
MS causes a major disruption in you sex life whether you are a man with MS
or a woman with MS. It is the elephant in the room, in your marriage, that
you try not to acknowledge. The thing that must always be remembered about
sex is that it is 90% between the ears and 10% between the legs. I have
found that even when I lack sensation I can pleasure my wife. It just takes
trying and you will be amazed what your body knows to do instinctively once
you get started. I am losing my G rating. bye
Thank You for touching on this topic, Im not married yet, but I do worry
about my fatigue, numbness, and weakness. Your husband is such a blessing.
Some men can't handle it, not for lack of trying/hoping, but it's a more
than they can invest emotionally/physically etc. It's difficult, and I
wonder if Ill be alone forever, or worse - settle for anyone who will have
me in order to avoid loneliness. Some of my able bodied friends have done
this. so i wonder - yikes where does that leave me!
Hi Andrea, The webcam is coming very soon so you will also be able to see
me. You are a beautiful person and you have helped me far more than you can
know. I appreciated the time you spent talking to me. I will do a video
response to this once I figure out what to say as I live by myself like
Christine. For me its terribly lonely, isolating and people don't
understand. Many hugs, and I look forward to talking with you again. Hugs,
Judy
Thank you Andrea for this video. It hit home very hard as I am recently out
of a 4 year relationship where I thought I was building a future with
someone but MS got in the way. I was told " I can't deal with your MS" were
pretty much the final words spoken. As well as some other words but I know
this is a family channel and will keep those to myself. This is exactly
what alot of people don't understand how MS affects all of us
Andrea, I'll have to thank you for being here! Great subject matter that
many of us would like to hear from other MS'rs, I know its been on my mind
but no one to really discuss it with that shares MS. My kayaak buddy came
over today, we shared a little lunch, wine, and Amelia Earhart movie, and
chat! No more kayaaking, but she has stayed my pal. This vid's timing is
spot on as I was just thinking she is still a dear pal!
GOD bless you Andrea for doing this video and touching on subjects that
effect everyone in our MS family....i plan on making a video response to
this soon....Its incredible what you and your husband have....He knows that
even though you have this terrible disease, it dosent define who you are to
him.....Thank you for doing this....Im proud that your in my family
here:)!!!!!!!.ione marie
Angela do not worry about a video response you have so much on your plate
right now. I was a little worried on how this topic would be received. It
is a hard part of our lives and to put it out there for others to see was
difficult. But I try to be honest and talk about real things that are
happening in my life and hope that others can relate. My husband is my best
friend. Hugs, Andrea
Christine is a very strong woman, I agree with you. She shows strengh in so
many ways and I think that you do too! You deal with a lot too and you can
see the good things in your life and you bring humor into it even when
things are tough!...you have a great spirit and a great strengh inside of
you, Andrea! One day, I will get to talk to you on Skipe too, I promise! :)
hugs, Angela
Everyone keeps saying that I am brave for talking about these things. The
reality is that most of us and the people close to us are impacted by our
disease. I have alway been an open book so to speak and if we really want
to help each other we have to be honest. If I can get people to at least
write what they are feeling that is a huge step.
I am the same way. People say "let me know if you need help." Well that is
a very hard thing to do. My sister just says "i'm coming over to help you
clean. The friend i spoke of in the video, she says 'if you need help
shoveling, let us know', and well there is over 2 feet out there. :( It
sucks. :(
A lot of women can't handle it either. Never settle for someone just to
keep from being alone. Worry about taking care of yourself and being in a
good place in your own skin and head first. When the right one comes along
you will know it if you are OK with yourself. Your Zen Master LOL Andrea
You always choose good topics, dear Andrea. And this one is a topic that
will make people think and open up. It might not be easy to do, but you
will see that many will take the opportunity to talk about this. I am glad
that your husband is your best friend! :)
The lack of oindependance and asking for support is dififcult when I used
to always to offer help and suport !! swapping roles is very hard .... take
great care Andrea and would love to chat to you more on skype too I will
send you my number by mail
Thank you that really means a lot to me. I try to be real and talk about
things that can be hard but that needs to be said. I am always looking for
ideas for new topics so feel free to let me know if there is something you
would like covered. Andrea
Thank you Jamie, it is a hard pill to swallow when someone can't deal with
what is happening to us. But what kind of person were they all along? Life
happens, other things other than illness would she have been able to handle
those things?
LOL the G rating. I did put Adult Content in the sidebar! It is harder for
women..no pun intended, just in general. I agree about the 90% in the head
part, just hard to get my brain there these days. Thanks Mark,
Just wanted to thank everyone for the positive feedback on this topic. I
was concerned about doing it but it is a part of our lives. You all are
great support for me and each other. Love to you all Andrea
You're brave. This is important, difficult stuff. I'll wait until everyone
else on MSTube has made a video about their relationships-since-MS, and
then, maybe, perhaps, I'll do one myself, ok? ;-)
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