How it feels to have ptsd Videos

my psychiatrist said I couldn't have PTSD because I want in the military. nevermind that I survived childhood sexual and physical abuse only to grow up to be brutally raped by someone I thought was safe. Couple that with no family support and a doctor who insists that I'm not anxious, when I know I'm anxious because I get suicidal from just being in this world and seeing the things I've seen. I don't want to be touched. I don't want to be sexualized. I get angry, I walked on eggshells, I'm NEVER at ease. the only thing that helped me is being around a Vietnam vet who understands what I'm going through and is supportive. if I hadn't befriended him, is be dead by now, and I'm really grateful for the time I've spent with him. it's helped me put things in perspective and that's something no bullshit psych doctor bothered to give a shit to do. He and I are two people who know what it's like being treated like " somebody else's problem " and we make sure we don't treat each other that way. PTSD is really empty sometimes. my heart goes out to all those who suffer.

Funny thing is i dont want to talk about it

I hate my PTSD and thank God for my service dog, Annie.... Another sleepless night I have to live my why through. The cold sweats and anxiety is something nobody should have to struggle with time and time again..... I had a major trigger today having to discuss things gone by and that is never easy. The things we try and bury to try and find some relief even if it is for only a moment. But it is that moment we wish will never end. However every person with PTSD knows deep down inside it never really goes away. It sits dormant like a stalker in the shadows. Some nights are worse than others, but there is never one without the emotional scar of a childhood gone so wrong. Still carry the blame with people telling me to "let it go" as if it was only a light switch. If only I could forget the past that won't loosen it's grip on my mind and yes, even my soul. And did I say "Thank God for Annie." ~ “The tragedy of this world is that no one is happy, whether stuck in a time of pain or of joy. The tragedy of this world is that everyone is alone. For a life in the past cannot be shared with the present. Each person who gets stuck in time gets stuck alone.” ― Alan Lightman,

I have had inner conflict/lost sense of self since childhood from living in a house with alcoholic father and constant argueing/turmoil between my mother & father. from this I developed anxiety/fear of embarssment among my peers. to fill the void I got into drugs & promiscuity in highschool. luckily the drugs didn't ruin me but it wasn until college that I developed full blown ptsd after ruining an important relationship by being promiscuous. so paralyzed by fear/shame...its a miracle I graduated. I finally realized that all 3 of my episodes of ptsd..had to do with me being promiscuous which was really just me looking for love. the first episode lasted almost a year and then was cured. then I felt on top of the world/ knew myself better than I have ever before. then I got into another toxic relationship- was beaten and found myself with ptsd again, then it cured after 6mths, then I got it again after having an abortion from a another relationship. and here I am trying to overcome ptsd again. I have hope it will go away because it has before and when it does I can do my best to stay away from triggers like being promiscious which leads me to most all my traumas. sorry for the long story people...just figured it might help people know that it can be cured and u can feel good again. I hope to regain self assurance again. i have begun eating healthy/exercise and see slight improvements. had enough courage to get a job at the farm today so will try to push on through. I think it is a personal struggle for everyone...but identifyng ur fears is important ( for me it was embarrassment from the shame of my family/not feeling the love/security a family should provide which carried into promisciousity in adulthood). I am slowly telling myself that even if I fail and no one likes me I can always try again. give up being perfect and just try.

you are so beautiful and so brave and so strong. we're all here for you & you definitely have purpose. i haven't been in any accidents but i had a lot of problems with my mom, our relationship isn't really an easy one we argue a lot and it made me feel like crap for a really long time. i thought well if my father never wanted to be a part of my life & my mom treats me the way she does, constantly getting annoyed by me and these are my own parents i must be a terrible person i shouldn't even be alive. my family goes through a lot and so did i but i never talked about it. i hid and cried every day for months & had the same thoughts u do but i've gotten better & i know u will too if u ever need to talk I'm here for u too

You are so brave to upload this. Letting your feelings out is so much better than keeping them in. Stay strong. You can get through this. I know it seems like nothing could get better, but believe me, it does. In life, we have times where we feel bad, but that always turns around and we feel good again. I think this pattern repeats itself all throughout life. So don't give up now. Live for the good moments in life and the little things that make you happy. You can do this.

Hey, You're beyond brave for uploading an unedited and raw emotive video. You are stronger than you think you are, wiser than you are, and far more beautiful than you know. I hope one day, you get the happiness, you deserve back in your life, and I hope that day is near. You are loved, Dawood

Hey Lucy, I believe you are brave for uploading this! Don't stay at zero, you can get through this. I pray you can have self-worth again. Don't let negatives break you but make you stronger. It's just like developing photos, you have to take the negatives in order to make them a positive. Stay strong, Greg

Thank you for the bravery to post and share. You are an awesomely strong human being, Never forget that :)

One of my subscribers sent me to this video because she thought I would relate. I do. So proud of you for sharing this, it's a really brave thing to do. xo

Christina, your video moved me to tears. By speaking your truth with honesty and courage you give other survivors (like me) a gift that I believe is invaluable to our healing, and that is the gift of knowing that we are NOT ALONE! In our struggle to become whole human beings, years of silence and secret-keeping often breed feelings of isolation and shame, keeping us in that dark place. But when someone speaks out, it allows the light of compassion to shine into all those dark corners. Thank you for your ray of light! Shine on, sister!

I saw this posted from The Mama Bear Effect site. It is so powerful. What a powerful video you made. I'm sorry you were abused and have PTSD. It's not fair. I hope you are proud of making this because it WILL help others too. I'm a survivor too. It's not our shame to bear (though I know we do). Go you and thank you.

Brava, Christina. Thank you for being a voice. You will give strength and courage to other survivors, and most importantly let them know that they are not alone.

Then you have never been where she has been as you can't understand something you have never experienced/ dragged through yourself. So please look at the don't judge narrative & don't critize something as perfect as this because with Complex PTSD & severe depression, it is absolutely exactly as she describes so vividly through art & music - I do feel your pain, grief, loss & trauma. Just remember although it never goes anyway, iy can get better & there is some peace light after a storm

So true, we are not alone. PTSD has the ripple effect. The RCMP has created the culture of protectiveness that forces people into the shadows of despair. We take back our power with our voices. Well done. Sherry Benson-Podolchuk author of Women Not Wanted in the RCMP

Anna...you make some very poignant observations about how that people sense trauma naturally. I especially like the part of wanting to wear bandages on the outside because you are enabling visualization of feelings....yet another left brain/right brain need to process. Thanks for sharing !

What IS a shame is people who are in charge to be helping someone heal deliberately adds more torment by knowingly "pushing buttons" to get a reaction and saying they're going to help but apparently couldn't care less!